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TEENS: Let's talk about Parkey one more time

Ben Donner
Ben Donner

Let’s talk about everybody's favorite kicker and Chicago’s favorite person. I’m talking about Cody Parkey.

DOINK! DOINK! The sound that knocked the Chicago Bears out of the playoffs and will live in fans’ minds for months. This sound will be in Parkey’s mind also, as he is going have to get over the fact that he knocked the Bears out of the playoffs.

I have gotten over it and here's why you should, too. Because someone dear to all of Bears fans' hearts is a free agent: Robbie Gould.

Gould stats on the season were 33 of 34 field goals and 27 of 29 extra points and Parkey’s stats on the season were 23 of 30 field goals and 42-45 extra points. You can obviously tell who the better kicker is, Park—

No, no, no I am just kidding, it was Gould. Now if you are a logical person, the Bears should let him go, but to be honest, I do not see that happening.

Now if you would like to see the story from his perspective, it probably would be trying not to miss so he could make extra money, but we all know that didn’t happen. I don’t know about you, but $5 million in guaranteed money sounds pretty nice to me. Like he said, “You can’t make this up,” and I agree with him.

But really, you're probably not here to hear me talk positive about him, you’re here to read my frustrations and anger. I am more civilized than that, and I feel bad for Parkey, I really do. Who wouldn’t? If you don’t, I feel bad that you can’t get over the fact that the missed kick happened weeks ago. He had nine out of the Bears 15 points, so at least he could keep us in the game.

However, I will say Parkey was the worst player on the Chicago Bears, the worst kicker, and one of the worst players in the whole NFL. Parkey screwed up the Bears' first playoff game in eight years, and he does deserve to go, but like I said, he won’t be run out of Chicago any time soon.

He missed about eight or nine kicks this year, and consequently that ended up being the worst year of his career. Yes, you could say he might have done this on purpose, because he would smile after every kick like he actually did miss on purpose. Really, why would he do any of that on purpose? Now I am not making a case either for or against him, but why would he miss on purpose?

If he does go, it would cost the Bears around $3 million — you might think that might not hurt, sure, that won’t hurt anything, but what if that money comes back to bite the Bears in the butt?

As always, I am a junior in high school and if you meet me in public, do not ask for an autograph because I might charge, but anyway, I’m Ben10 and I am signing out.

BEN DONNER is a junior at Streator High School. To contact him, email Assistant Editor Julie Barichello at

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