In my mind, the jury will be out for quite a while on whether or not Yu Darvish will be the true No. 1 starter that the Chicago Cubs hope he’ll be for at least a good part of the next six years … and the $155 million they’re paying him.
I can’t help but think Theo had the former Rangers and Dodgers hurler as the top target of the free agent process all along. Was that George Harrison’s “Got My Mind Set On Yu” or the Beatles with “I’ve Got To Get Yu Into My Life” I heard coming from his office?
Or was he channeling his inner Partridge Family “I Think I Love Yu” in the team suite just a few weeks ago?
While I’m sure Theo’s “Burning For Yu” (Blue Oyster Cult) was evident during negotiations, he probably never broke down to speak the words of Taylor Swift and said “Yu Belong With Me” or Lady Antebellum’s “Need Yu Now.” Still, the sentiment of Debby Boone’s “Yu Light Up My Life” came through loud and clear. Joe Madden probably joined in with a little Kelly Clarkson: “My Life Would Suck Without Yu.”
Ultimately, Theo got what he wanted, but did he break out into Sonny and Cher’s “I Got Yu, Babe” after the signing ceremony?
No, but based on the amount of dough changing hands, it’s no wonder Darvish is Bee Gee-ing around Rush Street with “Yu Should Be Dancing” on in the background, with Theo right there with him bouncing to the Beatles' “Happy Just To Dance With Yu.”
Oh sure, there will be a honeymoon period when Cubs fans will spontaneously break out Stevie Wonder's “I just Called To Say I Love Yu” when ordering tickets. Meanwhile, the Bleacher Bums will be tuning up with their Heart “Crazy On Yu” and the Rembrandt’s "Friends" theme “I’ll Be There For Yu.”
But even though some might agree early on with Prince "I Would Die 4 Yu," it may not last. If Darvish turns out to be the sorry pitcher he was against Cleveland during last year’s World Series, one that opponents followed LL Cool J’s order “Mama Said Knock Yu Out” or Queen’s “We Will Rock Yu,” the Die-Hards could turn against him and prefer to be “Without Yu” (Harry Nilssen) and Wrigley could quickly become a place “Not For Yu” (Pearl Jam) if they don’t get the “Best of Yu” (Foo Fighters).
In any case, the sentiment could just as easily varied, anywhere from “I Don’t Love Yu” (My Chemical Romance) to “Love Yu, Too” (Beatles) or somewhere in between, who knows?
My guess is they’ll end up with a couple good years in before everyone starts questioning the deal, at which time they may call for a trade. To that, Theo could go with the Scorpions’ “Still Loving Yu” or Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give Yu Up.” Or by that time, he could be humming Joan Jett: “I Hate Myself For Loving Yu.”
All we can do is “Rock With Yu” (Michael Jackson) for a while and hope that there will be another championship ring in it for the Cubs before those six years are up.
After that, it's the Casinos' “Then Yu Can Tell Me Goodbye.”