Navigating the waters of blending two families together following divorce can be tough.

An Ottawa Township High School grad is hoping to make the journey a little easier.

Tammy (Fidler) Potts and her husband, Kenneth Potts, recently released "Mix, Don't Blend: A Guide to Dating, Engagement and Remarriage with Children." The book comes from both personal experience and what they've learned through their professional careers as an educator and family therapist, respectively.

Tammy spoke to The Times via e-mail about her book and its message.

Q. Tell me a little bit about your background and your connection to Ottawa?

A. I grew up in Ottawa, graduated from Ottawa Township High School in 1969. Because my dad, Gordon Fidler, was a teacher and the superintendent, a lot of our time was spent cheering on the Pirates. Many dear, lifelong friendships were forged in Ottawa through school, Job's Daughters, the First United Methodist Church, 4-H, Campfire Girls, and park district programs. My sister Marta and I spent many a summer night driving "the loop" over and over.

Q. How did the concept of this book come about?

A. Both my husband and I have worked professionally with blended families; in my case as an educator, in his case as a family therapist. We also created our own blended family almost 14 years ago. We were both concerned about the struggle and, at times, trauma these families experienced because of first, their unrealistic expectations and, second, a lack of guidance as to how such families can work.

Q. Why is the message of the book — mix, don't blend — so important?

A. Millions of us will wind up in blended families sometime or the other in our lives. That includes a majority of children. Sadly, two-thirds of these remarriages end in divorce. We must find a way to help these families not only survive, but prosper.

Q. What is the biggest challenge facing "mixed" families? What is your advice for facing that challenge?

A. The biggest challenge is our expectations that mixed families will mirror biologically-related families in how they look and function. Every time we try to force our remarried families into this bio-family mold we inevitably do damage to everyone involved.

Q. How did you research the book?

A. There is actually a growing body of knowledge about blended families which has been assembled over the last 30 or so years. Also, my husband Ken has worked with and has studied these families for his entire 35-year career.

Q. How did you go about getting it published?

A. We talked with a few dozen publishers before we found the right fit, someone who understands both our publishing needs as well as someone who shares our passion for helping families.

Q. Any future projects?

A. We are putting together a study guide for individuals, couples, and groups to use as they read "Mix, Don't Blend" and will post this on our website in the near future. Ken currently has a collection of his weekly newspaper columns available with the title "Take One a Day" and is planning a second such collection. We are also considering a book which explores marital intimacy as encompassing not only the physical, but six other dimensions as well.




Want to buy the book?

"Mix, Don't Blend" is available at all major online book retailers, such as Amazon.com, or can be ordered at your local book store. Readers can get further information at www.mixdontblend.com.