In everyone's life, there are a lot of lessons they learn the hard way. We learn some of these lessons quickly, such as keeping our fingers out of light sockets. Some take a little longer, like not buying tools made in China. But there are some that take many years to really sink in. After a decade or two, we realize just how stupid some of our decisions are. Here are a few to avoid.

Don't read your horoscope. Do you wake up every morning and read your horoscope to find out what is going to happen to you today? You check to see if the stars and planets are finally let something good happen to you. Stop it. These things are just vague enough that they're always going to be true. "Today COULD be a good day to invest money." Yeah, right. Or it COULD be a good day to get a life. Why would you let your horoscope guide you? You might as well read some tea leaves or chicken bones. Or ask your cat. He probably has some pretty good ideas sometimes.

Don't waste too much time in front of the TV. Sure, everyone needs some time to just relax and be entertained, but don't waste your entire life watching other people live theirs.

Don't pass up a screamin' deal on a '57 Chevrolet just because it's a four-door sedan. You knew there had to be one on cars, right? Actually, what I mean is, don't pass up a good opportunity just because it's not a GREAT opportunity. I'm not quite sure what a non-automotive example might be. Maybe something like, "Never pass up a great deal on a '65 Broyhill bookcase just because it has wooden shelves instead of glass ones."

Speaking of cars, if your dad works on Rick Nielsen's dad's car, see if you can score some free tickets and backstage passes. Of course, by the time Dad was working on Mr. Nielsen's car, Cheap Trick was playing at Milwaukee Riverfest and stuff like that. You could probably just bump into them at the beer tent.

Don't give up on your dreams. It's easy to get discouraged, especially in today's economy, but don't give up. Twist them, bend them, beat them into a new shape, but don't give up.

Don't turn your back on a friend just because they're unpopular. That'll eat a hole in your soul big enough to drive a '57 Chevrolet through, if you were smart enough to buy one.

Don't let fear consume your life. It's perfectly normal to be afraid of some things – snakes, disease, the Dave Matthews Band. Just don't be afraid to live. Seventy or 80 years is a long time to live in fear, and is that REALLY living?

Oh, by the way, can I interest you in a screamin' deal on a Chevrolet S-10?

• ALAN SMITH of Ottawa is a former standup comedian. He can be reached through The Times by e-mailing paulc@mywebtimes.com.